Welcome to the First Annual Bradley Awards

The Bradley Awards. An Award widely considered the blogosphere's equivalent to an Oscar, Grammy, or being named XXL's Eye Candy of the Year.

Welcome to the show everyone. Tonight we bring you the most prestigious award show since the MTV Music Awards, the First Annual Bradley Awards, also known as a slight step up from the ESPY's. Tonight we will look back and award those who made an impact on the world in 2008. Let's start with the Music awards.

Musical Newcomer of the Year
We have a tie! The winners are Wale and Kid Cudi! Wale was able to represent D.C. while bringing a reality check back to true hip-hop that it desperately needed. His track"Am I Dreaming?" should be required listening material for any new MC before they record one more inkling of music. He also got mainstream love for "Nike Boots" (Lebron Six's?) and even got a verse from radio play magnet Lil Wayne on the remix. Any MC that can make hot music with Seinfield references throughout it deserves respect. His partner in rhyme on "Is There Any Love?" Kid Cudi took that Kanye/Lupe new age sound to new heights with joints like "Man on the Moon" and "The Prayer". Then he blew the roof off the club with banger "Day N' Night" with remixes from everyone from Jim Jones to Pitbull. Congrats fellas, and please try to avoid the sophomore album slump.

Musician of the Year
Mr. Saturday Night Live himself, Kanye West! Let the haters hate, Ye put it down this year. Bouncing back from the loss of his mother and a broken engagement, Mr. West dropped the school boy persona and created his own genera of music with 808's and Heartbreaks. With little guest appearances but a lot of sampling, not only did he stay on constant radio rotation with hits like "Love Lockdown" and "Heartless" but he put on what has been called one of the greatest live performances by a hip hop artist ever with his Glow In The Dark Tour. Besides we were going to give the award to Nas for "Untitled" but we knew Ye would just come on stage and protest anyways, so this was the easy way out.

Movie of the Year
During a year when we had fantastic performances like Robert Downey in Ironman and Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight no movie made me want to watch it again as soon as I was done the first time as Role Models. Paul Rudd delivered his best performance of his career in a movie that he rewrote the script for. Dropping his hilarious style of dry humor throughout this comedy about a couple of early thirty typical degenerate single guys having to enroll in big brothers program. Stifler is pretty much Stifler. McLovin' and Bobbi J' Thompson diversify with McLovin' playing the role as the fantasy knight in shining nerd and Bobbi dropping more foul mouthed funnies than any 10yr. old should be able to. It didn't get nearly as much pub and hype some of the other blockbusters this year, but if you haven't seen it yet, get to the nearest dollar movie theater quick before you have to wait for the dvd release. It'll be worth your dollar and your time in a shitty theater, promise.

TV Show of the Year
I was a die hard Sopranos fan. You know the type. The one's who've seen every single episode three times and can quote any and all of the lines and tell you exactly what happened to each character and in what season it happened. I was completely fucking furious at the way they ended the series(unless a movie is really in the works!). Then I was watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall and that huge Hawaiian dude said, "Dude your relationship is like the Sopranos. It's over, time to get a new show." Boy was he right. If you haven't seen S.O.A yet imagine the Sopranos as a biker gang but the storylines are better. Yes I said it. Not only do actors like Charlie Hunnam(Green Street Hooligans), Ron Pearlman(Hellboy), and Katey Sagal(Married with Children) kill their specific roles but the action sequences and the suspense are incredible. So enjoy your Bradley Award, S.O.A., and PLEASE get that new season done before next fall.

Fantasy Jumpoff of the Year

Eva Mendez will probably have this award on lock for the rest of the decade. I don't know if it's the constant Ghost Rider reruns on Encore right now but for some reason when the topic of beautiful women comes up(besides wifey of course ;)) I can't get her out of my head. Maybe it's because Jen made this comment the other day while when we saw her on tv. "I'm not a lesbian by any stretch of the imagination, but if I ever had the chance to hook up with Eva Mendez, I'd do it in a heartbeat." Yeah, that's probably it.

Player of the Year

This isn't easy. Giving credit to an athlete who denies your team a return to the promise land never is. But no one deserves this spot more than Kevin Garnett does. This is a man who literally changed the way McDonald All-American's approached their decision making process and revolutionized the power forward position. He stayed loyal to a franchise in a small market through the good and Mchale times until he was finally given the opportunity to truly have a shot at a ring. No one wanted it more, no one was a better leader, and no one deserved a ring more than KG last season. I know considering my fanhood and Kobe winning the MVP trophy last season this is probably a surprise to some, but you gotta give credit where credit is due. Congrats on the Bradley, KG. It will look great next to your MVP and Championship trophies. As for Kobe...there's always next year.

B. Long's Weekly (Laker Heavy) Review

Too all my haters...



Happy Holidays everybody! Hope everyone got what they wanted for Christmas, ate some good home cooking, and drank away any holiday blues (Except you, Moose, your too young). Basketball wise, I couldn't have asked for a better ending to the week. Just like a good hollywood blockbuster, right when fans where on the edge of their seats fearing the worst for their favorite character, the Lakers went into superhero beast mode and righted the ship with wins against the Hornets and the 19 straight win Celtics. Who apparently didn't want the Lakeshow to feel too special about beating them so they went ahead and gave the Warriors a W as well. Luckily the Lakers were able to escape the same fate in Nellieville last night as they had a balanced outing offensively with six players scoring double figures and were a Luke Walton free throw away from making it lucky number seven. Even the Monkey King got a bucket! Bananas for everyone! But the story of the night was D-Fish and the Magical Headband.

Derek Fisher apparently received a headband with mystical powers for Christmas because last night was the first time I've seen him rockin' one in at least half a decade and he was playing like a 24 yr. old again. Dropping a deadly combination of jumpers, floaters, and bank shots D-Fish used the power of the band to go 9 for 12 last night for 19 points and 5 dimes. Some would say that most D-Leaguers could put up these kind of numbers against the Warriors piss poor defense, but after watching them take down the mighty Celtics earlier this week I'm giving all the credit to the band. So what is exactly does the Magical Headband do and where did it come from? My only guess is that it instills an ungodly amount of offensive confidence into any player who wears it. Unfortunately it does not increase that players talent level which would also lead me to believe that this is the same headband that Smush Parker wore during his time in purple and gold. Yes much like the ring was to Smigel, the headband was to Smush. Lets just hope that Kobe doesn't somehow get a hold of this thing, morph into SuperMamba, and drop a Chamberlain on someone.

In other news, Derrick Rose's up and down play has opened the door for O.J. Mayo to make a run at the R.O.Y. hardware. After breaking Magic's rookie record for consecutive 20pt games to start a career, Octovolvine Jenkins is making a strong case in an excellent rookie class for Freshman of the Year. His combination of speed, athleticism, and a killer jump shots are reminding some people of ^ you know who. Now if he can help string together some wins for his crazy young but talented team, he'll more than likely take the lead. If Mr. Rose can stay away from kitchen cutlery, break through that rookie wall, and get back that consistent swagg he had the first month of the season it's gonna be an exciting race down to the finish. There is even still time for Beasley, Oden and Rudy Fernandez to make a run. I didn't even mention Augustine. Go D.J, That's my D.J.!

I Must've Been Good This Year!

Count the Lakers out already? Not quite...


What a difference a couple of convincing wins over quality opponents can make. This past Monday there were several questions surrounding the Lakers after a weekend which saw them lose to Miami and Orlando on back to back nights. Where was the defensive intensity that we saw the first two weeks of the season? Is Phil Jackson really the genius that he is widely considered or does he just use sarcastic and witty comments to mask his inability to keep this team playing inspired basketball on a nightly basis? Could this team really expect to be able to compete with a Celtics squad on a 19 game winning streak?

Well, for one night at least that last question was answered. The Lakers showed up to the Staples Center and decided to bring their defense with them this time. KG was still KG but with Bynum patrolling the paint Rondo wasn't able to get to the rack or create many drive and kicks considering the guards didn't have to help, which limited the Celtics ability to get wide the same wide open jumpers that they had in the Finals last year. Kobe had probably his most balanced performance of the season, punking Ray Allen in the process. Paul Pierce got to experience what a healthy Trevor Ariza can do defensively. The Machine was knocking down jumpers and Pau exercised some of the ghosts from last years Finals with an incredible fourth quarter performance. But even with Pau beasting in the fourth no one impressed me more than Lamar Odom last night.




Looking at just his numbers, you might think that L.O. didn't really do anything special last night. And you'd be wrong. Lamar got his swagger back last night playing with defensive tenacity, hitting some clutch threes, and basically going hard like Hova did in Brooklyn. Lamar played with a chip on his shoulder, matching the Celtics physical style of play with his own combination of thrown shoulders and elbows, putting KG on his ass after a couple of cheap shots on his teammates. He set the tone for the second unit and sent a message to Boston early on that this is NOT the same Laker team they played last year. If L.O. and Pau can play at this level during playoff time and Bynum can focus primarily on defending the paint and rebounding this team is gonna be scary good. Congrats to Phil on the 1000 wins, now lets see if he can get this team to win 16 in May and June.

B. Long's Weekly (sobs) Review

It can't get worse than this, can it?

Well if you don't know by now my two favorite sports franchises shit the bed this weekend. The Lakers are playing defense like that drunk girl in the bar who wants you to take her home but keeps telling you over and over "but I'm a gooood girl." All you have to do is keep the ball in play and eventually your going to score. I won't bore you basketball fans with the details of the Cowboys utter failures this weekend other than to say it was the most disappointing non-playoff loss I've ever experienced as a sports fan in my life. If they don't beat the Eagles this week I'm making the three hour trip to Dallas and punching Jerry Jones in his cosmetically enhanced face and kicking Tony Romo in the fleshy patch where his nutsack used to be, you know, before his encounter with Miss Chicken or Tuna.


Then to top the weekend off the Lakers laid another egg in Orlando the next night. Kobe tried to revert back to 2006 Kobe but the Mamba's strike was a little rusty. Maybe we just need the Mamba personality back permanently for awhile? Or maybe Phil Jackson could call a play that requires them to get the ball in the post to Bynum when he's playing against Miami's D-League caliber centers? All I'm sure of is that if there is a bright side to this slump it's that it is happening in December instead of April. Hopefully we can still right the ship and get that chemistry back that we had the first week of the season. But as we struggle against Memphis while I'm typing this it's getting harder and harder to have faith that this team can beat the Celtics in a seven game series. We'll see what happens tonight and against Nawlins tomorrow. I still haven't given up hope about our chances Christmas day..... not yet.

So the only real glimmer of happiness I had this weekend was Devin Harris's total emasculation of the Dallas Mavericks franchise. Avery Johnson was cracking my shit up with those comments about the Harris/Kidd trade. Bill Walton would say something like "That wasn't a very smart trade you guys made, Avery."totally being sarcastic. Avery responds "Why do you think I'm not coaching there. I was the one who didn't want to trade Devin!". Basically, tell me how your trade tastes, Mark Cuban. Devin the Dude is an absolute killer this year. After Deron and Chris, I'm not sure there is another point guard I'd rather have on my squad. In other Eastern Conf. news Kevin Garnett is still crazy, Rondo is still getting better,the Celtics are still in repeat mode, and Moose is still as giddy as a Boston school girl(J/K little homie).

So for the Long Residence, last week was one that we can't forget soon enough. The good news is this week starts fresh with opportunities for all of our favorite franchises to redeem themselves. Kobe takes on CP3 and that guy that crawls around on the floor and the Cowboys still somehow hold the keys to their own playoff destiny. The only problem is that those keys open a door to a Philly crowd that maybe the worst possible environment that Dallas could ask for right now. This is the crowd that threw snowballs at Santa. What do you think they're gonna do when T.O. walks into a snow filled stadium? It should be an entertaining week to say the least. Win and your in, baby.

B. Long's Weekly Review

The Top Pick Showdown!(sort of...maybe?)

Given the fact that a Ricky Rubio article was the first thing I ever wrote that got published at Slam and my Brandon Jennings article was the first thing ever posted on this blog it would be an unforgivable injustice not to cover their first epic battle against each other across the pond. From what I can gather from the incredible on site game notes of none other than Lang Whitaker at SLAM(yes, they got it like that), It sounds like both guys held their own against each other. Ricky dropped dimes and made clutch defensive plays while being limited offensively with a hand injury while Brandon dropped jaws, 12 points, and an unverifiable number of assists due to the fact that apparently the Euroleague officials aren't so great at keeping up with that sort of thing. All in all, a great showing by both guys. Brandon convinced Lang that he belongs in the lottery discussion (no small feat) and Rubio's squad gets the W. It seems that with the Olympics over and the shock of Brandon heading to Rome instead of Tucson dying down so has the hype over these guys draft status.

Late this summer, the buzz about these guys was crazy and deservedly so. Ricky had just justified the 17yr. old Spanish Pistol talk by holding his own against the Redeemed Team. Brandon was a recently crowned High School player of the year who turned his back on Lute Olson at Point Guard U and decided instead to study abroad in Italy. Both guys are incredibly entertaining to watch and both guys are doing things in places like no one else before them. So what happened to all that number one spot in 09 talk? Well, there are questions about Ricky's ability to apply for the draft due to the age limit and how that effects players overseas as well as his contract that would have to be bought out. The other reason is two words: Blake Griffin.

Seen above doing chin-ups on the rim with the assistance of last years second overall pick, Michael Beasley, Blake Griffin is a flat out basketball monstrosity. With a nasty inside game, reliable jumper from 17 ft., and ridamndiculous athletic ability, Blake has snatched the number one spot with the same viciousness that he yanks down boards with. Cub Buenning compared him to a young Karl Malone and after watching his Sooners dismantle USC, I think he hit the nail right on the head. Ty Lawson is also going to garner some serious consideration by teams desperate for a point guard in the lottery next year as well with his Usain Bolt like speed and an assist to turnover ratio that makes NBA scouts go from six to midnight. If he is able to lead a stacked Heels squad to the promise land, he could definitely end up being taken ahead of both Rubio (if he declares) and Jennings.

So basically what happened to the Jennings/Rubio hype is that the college cream of the crop has risen to the top. Brandon is getting great experince in an enviroment that will ultimately prepare him for the stresses that come with being an NBA lottery pick in ways that PAC-10 competiton never could have. Rubio is busy slowly and cautiously (as a future lottery pick should) nursing his injuries back to health . He'll continue to marinate in Spain until he decides to bring his bag of offensive tricks and great defense to David Stern's neck of the woods. Here's hoping that no matter what his draft ranking is, that he comes over sooner than later. Now on to the NBA.

Dear Kobe,

I want you to look at the picture above. Think back to 04. Try not to focus on the off the court drama and remember just how damn talented that team was. Four future H.O.Fers, the Super Lakers. Now I want you to remember crying your ass off after you got waxed in the Finals by the Pistons. That sucked didn't it? SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LETTING YOUR GUYS GET AWAY WITH PLAYING PISS POOR DEFENSE!?!? You guys started out great on the defensive end this year. The first ten games where beautiful, then all the sudden you guys started playing all Mavericky and just tried to out score people. WTF? That didn't work in 04, it didn't work last year, and it damn sure isn't going to work this year. The Celtics are better this year. I repeat, the Celtics are BETTER this year. Don't ask me how a team that loses James Posey and doesn't bring anyone of real importance in gets better, but they did. Maybe it's just the maturation of Rondo, Powe, and Perkins but this team is absolutely terrifying and LeBron has the Cavs not far behind. Maybe you need to take a page out of KG's book and yell, scream, get on all fours and bark like a dog...I DON'T CARE BUT DO SOMETHING! This team cannot keep playing the way it has the last two weeks and expect to win a championship. I know it, you know it, and Paul Pierce knows it. Now get this shit straight and lets get back to stuff like this.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Laker Fan

B. Long's Weekly Review

In this new weekly column, I will reflect on all things basketball and pretty much anything else I damn well please. It's a celebration bitches, enjoy yourselves!


In the historic first posting of B. Long's Weekly Review, I decided to reflect on more than this last week, but on this entire ground breaking fall. I was watching some old Chappelle Show DVDs last weekend and it made me realize how much I miss Dave's genius. Could you imagine the skits he could've put out over the shit that has gone down over the past few years, not to mention election season? Damn, the laughs we could've had. But watching those skits also made me realize how far we've grown as a nation. Just as recent as a few years back Dave Chappelle, a man who made racial comedy and conversation socially acceptable to a lot of America and had a bigger impact on our generation's acceptance of each other than he'll ever get credit for, did several politically charged skits like Black Bush(One of the all time greats) and What if the President was Black during Armageddon. You could almost be certain from the vibe of the skits Dave would've never imagined we'd be putting a black man in the White House in 2008, much less during his lifetime and I think that would go for most of America. I guess the old saying "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." is true because after what most of America has had to go through the past eight years during the reign of Dubya, we seem to have finally put our petty differences aside and decided to do what's best for our country. Not because of race but because of what was right. That being said, now the real work begins.

Just like the Bulls have put the hope of their franchise's future into a uber-talented Windy City hometown kid with little experience but limitless potential our nation also puts its fate into the hands of a Chicago native with little time spent in the Senate but who has the passion and vision to inspire an entire generation. It would be about as unrealistic to expect for our nations most important issues to be solved during our President Elect's first year in office as it would to expect the Bulls to bring home lucky number seven this season. They may not even be solved during his first term in office, but be patient and open minded. Derrick Rose is doing a better job than almost anyone expected this early in his career( Hey Jukai, how does my prediction taste?) and judging from the work he is putting into putting the right people around him in the White House I don't expect anything less from President Obama's efforts in Washington. As the homies at SLAM would say, Derrick Rose is Barrack Obama, Barrack Obama is Derrick Rose. Change has officially arrived.


Now that the political stuff is out of the way, lets get down to basketball. The Celtics are picking up where they left off last year with only a couple of hiccups here and there, they look like the same dominate force that stormed through the regular season in the East last year although we'll probably have to wait until the playoffs get started to see how much the loss of James Posey is really going to cost them. That being said, I really like the work that Tony Allen has been putting in for them. His interviews with the SLAM crew during the Finals last year were legendary. I would say I expected a little more from Big Baby at this point but I don't want to hurt his feelings. Leon Powe is still a beast off the bench and Scalabrine could still pull this costume off better than this guy can.




The Cavs have finally decided that if they want a shot in hell at keeping the King in their castle they better start competing for championships pronto and so far they seem like real contenders. Mo Williams is the legit number two scorer that the Cavs have been missing and Delonte West, Wally Sexyback, and even Big Ben seem to have stepped their game up so far this season. If they can keep this up heading into the playoffs expect the Cavs to knock off at least one of the beasts of the East, Detroit or Boston, on their way to the ECFs. Speaking of Mo-Town I can't figure out what to make of this A.I. led Pistons team. They definitely got better offensively and they're one of the only squads who has been able to down the Lakers this year but they've also lost to the Knicks and Bobcats. Chauncey has been tearing it up in Denver but I'm gonna withhold judgment on who got the better of this trade until the All-Star break, which is also when we should go ahead and award Derrick Rose his R.O.Y. trophy. Unless O.J. can somehow drag the Grizz into the playoff picture(imfuckinpossible) it wouldn't be premature.



In the Western Conference all I can really do is get my Dennis Green on and say they are who I thought they were. The Lakers are shooting for that 72 win Chicago Bull record(ask Randy Brown). Phoenix, Dallas, and the Spurs have all regressed. The Spurs more due to injury than anything else and it will be interesting to see if they have enough left in the tank to turn around this season now that everyone is healthy again. The Nuggets look like their finally gonna make the jump from first round annual shit-ons to a second or third seed in the West. CP3 is balling but not getting much help in Nawlins...yes, I'm talking to you Tyson Chandler. Houston still seems to be the injury house of horrors that it has been through out the past few years but if they can get healthy before the break they'll have a shot at possibly breaking that TMac first round drought this year. Besides the Iverson for Chauncey trade and a couple of scuffles here and there, it has been a relatively quite beginning to the season. Keep an eye on the Hawks now that Smoove is healthy and watch my dark horse team ,the Nets, squeak into to the playoffs just like I predicted. What do you think Cubes regrets the most, his horrible reality show, Mama.com, or the J-Kidd for Devin Harris trade?