Well if you don't know by now my two favorite sports franchises shit the bed this weekend. The Lakers are playing defense like that drunk girl in the bar who wants you to take her home but keeps telling you over and over "but I'm a gooood girl." All you have to do is keep the ball in play and eventually your going to score. I won't bore you basketball fans with the details of the Cowboys utter failures this weekend other than to say it was the most disappointing non-playoff loss I've ever experienced as a sports fan in my life. If they don't beat the Eagles this week I'm making the three hour trip to Dallas and punching Jerry Jones in his cosmetically enhanced face and kicking Tony Romo in the fleshy patch where his nutsack used to be, you know, before his encounter with Miss Chicken or Tuna.
Then to top the weekend off the Lakers laid another egg in Orlando the next night. Kobe tried to revert back to 2006 Kobe but the Mamba's strike was a little rusty. Maybe we just need the Mamba personality back permanently for awhile? Or maybe Phil Jackson could call a play that requires them to get the ball in the post to Bynum when he's playing against Miami's D-League caliber centers? All I'm sure of is that if there is a bright side to this slump it's that it is happening in December instead of April. Hopefully we can still right the ship and get that chemistry back that we had the first week of the season. But as we struggle against Memphis while I'm typing this it's getting harder and harder to have faith that this team can beat the Celtics in a seven game series. We'll see what happens tonight and against Nawlins tomorrow. I still haven't given up hope about our chances Christmas day..... not yet.
So the only real glimmer of happiness I had this weekend was Devin Harris's total emasculation of the Dallas Mavericks franchise. Avery Johnson was cracking my shit up with those comments about the Harris/Kidd trade. Bill Walton would say something like "That wasn't a very smart trade you guys made, Avery."totally being sarcastic. Avery responds "Why do you think I'm not coaching there. I was the one who didn't want to trade Devin!". Basically, tell me how your trade tastes, Mark Cuban. Devin the Dude is an absolute killer this year. After Deron and Chris, I'm not sure there is another point guard I'd rather have on my squad. In other Eastern Conf. news Kevin Garnett is still crazy, Rondo is still getting better,the Celtics are still in repeat mode, and Moose is still as giddy as a Boston school girl(J/K little homie).
So for the Long Residence, last week was one that we can't forget soon enough. The good news is this week starts fresh with opportunities for all of our favorite franchises to redeem themselves. Kobe takes on CP3 and that guy that crawls around on the floor and the Cowboys still somehow hold the keys to their own playoff destiny. The only problem is that those keys open a door to a Philly crowd that maybe the worst possible environment that Dallas could ask for right now. This is the crowd that threw snowballs at Santa. What do you think they're gonna do when T.O. walks into a snow filled stadium? It should be an entertaining week to say the least. Win and your in, baby.
Then to top the weekend off the Lakers laid another egg in Orlando the next night. Kobe tried to revert back to 2006 Kobe but the Mamba's strike was a little rusty. Maybe we just need the Mamba personality back permanently for awhile? Or maybe Phil Jackson could call a play that requires them to get the ball in the post to Bynum when he's playing against Miami's D-League caliber centers? All I'm sure of is that if there is a bright side to this slump it's that it is happening in December instead of April. Hopefully we can still right the ship and get that chemistry back that we had the first week of the season. But as we struggle against Memphis while I'm typing this it's getting harder and harder to have faith that this team can beat the Celtics in a seven game series. We'll see what happens tonight and against Nawlins tomorrow. I still haven't given up hope about our chances Christmas day..... not yet.
So for the Long Residence, last week was one that we can't forget soon enough. The good news is this week starts fresh with opportunities for all of our favorite franchises to redeem themselves. Kobe takes on CP3 and that guy that crawls around on the floor and the Cowboys still somehow hold the keys to their own playoff destiny. The only problem is that those keys open a door to a Philly crowd that maybe the worst possible environment that Dallas could ask for right now. This is the crowd that threw snowballs at Santa. What do you think they're gonna do when T.O. walks into a snow filled stadium? It should be an entertaining week to say the least. Win and your in, baby.
8 comments:
Everybody loves to burn Moose just a *little* bit, but yeh, even your Harris love is undeserving with the egg he and the nets layed against Houston today.
Harris had 10pts/2rbds/3assists/2 out of 9 shooting and some extremely dumb plays, fouling Aaron on the 4 pt play, reaching to get around Brooks/Head for a steal gamble and giving up 2 three point plays for Landry and a 3 for Artest- he left his teammates out to dry.
He still has a lot to learn from what I saw today B. I can't see JKidd making those same mistakes.
Your right about tonight, Hursty, but this was far and away the worst game Devin has played all year and the Rockets were rolling. He may gamble occasionally and lose but I would much rather have someone gamble and miss than someone who is physically incapable of guarding the top tier pg's in the NBA.
B. Long, Great ish as usual, but I wonder...Would Devin Harris have progressed the same at Dallas where us fans were hating constantly, where Mark Cuban didn't trust him...etc I mean, I know the trade was a mistake, but it seems to be better for him as a person, both professionally and personally. My friend went on a few dates with Devin Harris when he was a rookie at Dallas, and she told me he seemed somewhat adrift in the Dallas scene. Oh well. And yes, I am in the camp that firmly believes that "LaBradford" is the best first name in the entire universe. My first son's name will be LaBradford. I'm calling it now. LaBradford Shammgod Walsh. I am dead serious about that. My girlfriend and I are also going to get a Vizsla puppy and name it Rambis. Right now, I am watching the 2004 version of The Manchurian Candidate, and that's what I feel like has happened to the Lakers all of a sudden. Some corporation has fucked with their brains, told them to play like eternal shite (who doesn't like euro-cursing), and pretend like it's all in a days work. Will Kobe be the Denzel Washington to find the problem and snipe it out in a big celebration, or will Kobe be Jeffrey Wright, and warn Denzel, only to be kidnapped and murdered, then thrown in the river that is a metaphor for the bullshit play that the Lakers have been suffering as of late. If you haven't seen The Denzel version of The Manchurian Candidate (it's Denzel's third best work behind Malcolm X and Glory), you need to watch it. It's directed by Johnathon Demme (director of Silence of the Lambs), and is acted perfectly, the movie is creepy as hell, yet beautiful. And if you watch that movie and aren't thinking "2008 Lakers being brainwashed"...Then you, my fellow SLAM faithful, are blind. For Christmas, I'd like to be thankful for a few things.
1. Kansas won a national title, then everybody went to the NBA and they start from scratch. This time, the rich doesn't get richer. Rarity.
2. Tyreke Evans has been exposed as a player who misses so many shots, it's felonious.
3. The Boston Celtics' trash talking is outstanding. Absolutely outstanding.
4. Rajon Rondo: swag is set to phen-fucking-nominal. 'nuff said.
5. Devin Harris. I remember when this guy's shooting was so mediocre in games (in spite of good form, and high practice percentages) that Mark Cuban bought him a Shooting Psychologist, a man who literally watched him shoot...and instead of giving him pointers on his form, technique, etc....gave him words of encouragement...I am so glad he is playing well.
6. OJ Mayo has lived up to all the hype, beaten the hate like it stole something, and has AI's rookie scoring record in his grasp.
7. B. Long and I owned in a "Texas does, in fact, produce good basketball prospects" debate.
8. I started writing for SLAMonline. Ryne Nelson has been one of the nicest, most accommodating people I've had the honor of turning in words for. Matt Caputo is a guy I look up to, his advice to me rolls off his tongue like only the best NY accents can be heard. You see a picture of him, and think of Maroon 5. You hear him talk, you let him drop dimes of his immense basketball IQ- you feel as though he's channeling the very mecca of basketball itself. Jedi Master Lang Whitaker is Jedi Master Lang Whitaker.
9. Barack Obama. Barack Obama. Barack Obama.
10. Matthew Rodriguez and Arek Kissoyan of BIL let me write for them 2 years ago. We are still going strong, we have grown, we are now SLAM's official video crew...I have so much to be thankful for because of them. Matt, you gave me tough love and made sure I stayed on the grind when I was a blue eyed rook' in the sports journalism world. Arek, you kept my spirits up and taught me the meaning of what it's like to be a true Lakers fan.
11. Demar Derozan, for being one of the most gracious guys I've ever interviewed, also one of the first. It helps my street cred when I can say that my first interview ever was a McDonalds All-American. He treated me like a professional before I ever deserved it, and was honest in his answers. Right now he is 10th on the NBA draft board, not even playing to the best of his ability. His last 2 games he has been playing more to Demar form with point totals of 18 and 17, his point totals have gone up, his shooting percentage is improving- by the end of the season he will be a solid top 7 pick in the draft.
12. Brandon Jennings, Cezar Guerrero, LaBradford Franklin, Justin Hawkins, Roberto Nelson, Marshawn McMahon, Dwayne Polee, Myree Bowden, Malcolm Lee...these cats were some of my first interviews when I just got into the grind. They let me into their thoughts when I had no reputation. These cats are legit. Now, I can get an interview with much more ease because, with their help, I have legitimacy, a good reputation, and I can say I am part of BALLISLIFE, and write some for SLAMonline...I am endlessly thankful to the ballers who give me some time of day.
13. My mother and father, for letting me graduate school early and take a semester off to get a jumpstart on my career. And now, they supported my decision to transfer out of Kansas State University and move out to Long Beach California so I can stay on the grind at all times.
14. My 4 favorite blogs, Where Basketball Belongs, Shawn Kemps Offspring, Hibachi 2.0, and Basketbawful.
15. My dogs Foxie, and Shawn Chubbz for being the best cheer up's in the universe. I swear, I could be dead crying, scared as hell, or just plain down... And these throwed ass gangsters would make me happy.
16. Reggie, RIP. One hell of a good dog, sorry you had to fall to cancer, but don't worry, you're in dog heaven, shooting layups and crossing over that punk ass air bud.
17. The Dark Knight, WALL-E, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Slumdog Millionaire, and Defiance for being my favorite movies of the year.
18. Kanye West, for having the balls to make an album from his heart, not the streets. He was depressed from the loss of his mother and the breakup with the fiance...
19. Nas, for making the album of the year.
20. Call of Duty 4, it was the game I played most in college this semester.
21. Funny Games, the most fucked up movie I have ever seen. Everybody needs to watch this.
That's all for now. I am thankful for more, but I figure 21 is just enough.
Hursty, I can take it. I can take heat, so throw it at me anywhere. Nice ish, B. Long. I mean this sincerely, ignoring my everlasting hate for the Dallas Cowboys: Good luck next week. And I AM rooting for you. I'll be watching, they'll have my support.
And Justin, GREAT comment! Filled with semi-obscure metaphors, great feelings, fun to read. Thanks for that. And Justin, do you have an email address?
Damn, Justin wrote a new blog in my comments section! lol. It's good to have so much to be thankful for. Yes, the Lakers are playing very Manchurian as of late. I did end up enjoying the last quarter and a half of their game against the Grizz last night. Kobe crossed Rudy dirty and then hit the and 1. Possibly his best basket of the year so far. And Moose, thanks for putting your hatred of my football team behind you and your support this weekend, we need every positive piece of hope out there.
By the way guys, I just started a new NFL blog. Pacman's Playhouse!
Moose, my e-mail is justinwalshBIL@gmail.com - you can also get my email from my stuff on slam where it says words by justin walsh and its in hyperlink, that would be where my email is! So just e-mail anytime. I'd say the same goes for B. Long but we've already spoke through email.
B.Long, I know you liked that I name dropped your blog as one of my four favorite! And who doesn't like a Manchurian Candidate reference?! Haha, as long as BETCATS reads that and sees I claimed Texas Victory with you, we're all straight.
Merry Christmas mayne- May your presents be plentiful. SELL SOME MEDICINE BITCHES, I'M TRYIN' TO GET THAT OIL...O HOOOOO! David Chappelle lines. NOMNOM
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