Report Card Time! Part Duece

Deron Williams has way too many absences, Summer School is a must.

Utah Jazz
That's right kids, it's the Northwest Division's turn to try and beat their parents to the mailbox. We start off with the Jazz, who get an "incomplete" at this point in the season, due mostly to Deron starting the first quarter of the season pretty much in fly suits and Carlos Boozer finally making his way back to his home away from home, the chilling list. Paul Millie has got his Mini-Me Mailman on this year and almost made the Jazz front office forget about Betrayal Skull Head Dude's discouraging words about his future with the franchise. What is it with Louisiana Tech products blowing up in Mormon City? AK47 looks to have played his way out of Jerry Sloan's doghouse, Ronnie Brewer has become an impressive energy guy and consistent scoring threat, and Okur and Korver are still having their own personal three point contests at times. Jerry Sloan is even finally giving C.J. Miles some burn as well, which as turned out to be a smart move, as most of the John Deere Gangster's decision's usually are. D-Will will without a doubt be even more motivated to get his name back in that Number One, running the one, convo. So far the this team has been up and down, and understandably so. But with Deron back, the continued improvement of Paul Millie and Brewer, this squad will only get better during the second part of the season and could be on some Miles Davis shit come playoff time. I see these guys at 31 and 24 at the break and finishing the season at 49-33 and sitting in the fifth seed come playoff time.


Oklahoma City Thunder
The newly labeled Tuff Kats, have pleasantly surprised fans as of late, winning 4 out of their last 6 games going into their match up with the Clips tonight. Kevin Durant has continued to flourish and is on the brink of becoming the full fledged superstar that the Sonics where hoping for when they drafted him. KD seemingly soaks up every game, win or loss, milking the experience of every lesson learned that will eventually equip him with the tools to carry a franchise into the playoffs. Jeff Green is becoming less of a sidekick and more of a certified co-star with his balanced bag of scoring weapons and ever improving defense. Russell Westbrook is quickly making what some people called a questionable lottery pick look more like a brilliant one. In my preseason preview I did for my boys over at Hibachi 2.0, I picked the Thunder to finish the season with a slightly improved record this year at 27-55. After their horrendous start I doubted I'd have any bragging rights on that one but given their recent improvement and some impressive wins against teams like the Pistons, I fully expect to look a lot smarter at the end of the season. If the Thunder can get some stability with Scott Brooks being rewarded with a multi year contract at the end of the year, they could be playing more than 82 games Sooner than you think.

Denver Nuggets

I hear this guy flies in any weather...

For as many questions the Chauncey Billups/A.I. trade that it caused for the Pistons franchise, it provided just as many answers for the Nugg Nuts. Chauncey has proved that he still has plenty left in the tank, energized by getting a second(third?) chance to be the hometown hero. Mr. Big Shot has proved to be the exact veteran presence that the Nuggets desperately needed to be able to accurately run George Karl's system. Melo's numbers are down and he has battled injuries this season, but he has also matured drastically and seems to be more comfortable being less of the vocal leader for this young squad. Nene is Brazilian waxing other big men(No Amechi), Kenyon is playing like it's 2002 all over again, and J.R. Smith is even showing a bit of self control lately. The one thing that people really seem to overlook on this squad is that they are deeper than a Mos Def joint with a lineup that boasts playoff hardened vet, Anthony Carter, to young hustla's like Linas Kleivas, Dahntay Jones, and everybody's favorite rehabilitated lunatic, Chris Andersen a.k.a the Birdman. If this squad can get better at it's interior defense and Carmelo can stay healthy, the sky is the limit on what they can accomplish this year. I see this constantly improving squad at 32-20 at the break and sitting at 50-32 at the end of the regular season, in the 4th seed in the West. One thing is for sure, this is NOT the same team the Lakers swept in the first round last year.

Minnesota Timberwolves
It seems like the young guns in the Northwest included "Let's stop sucking this year." on their New Year's resolution list. The Timberwolves started out this year on a winning streak that the Wolves haven't put together since KG was screaming at himself randomly in Minnesota. Al Jefferson isn't built in the exact same mold, but on the rare event that I've caught a Wolves game this season, he's reminding me of Timbot more and more. The footwork, the post moves, and the even the calm business-like demeanor almost sends chills up your spine. If he can keep playing at an all-star level and Randy Foye can make the way he's started 09 a regular deal this team could also be a playoff threat in a couple of seasons. Kevin Love has even proved that he may not have been the worst trade that McHale has ever made. I know people are saying that the West is kinda falling off a bit with the decline of the Suns and the Mavs, but when you look at all the young teams that seem to be starting to put it together it is almost frightening to think of what the conference could look like 2 or 3 years down the road. I see the Timberwolves at 18-35 at the break and 29-53 at the end of the year.

Portland Trailblazers

Dem Franchise Boyz

The same three words come to mind when you think of Meagan Good and the Portland Trailblazers, young, stacked, and talented, but for totally different reasons. Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge have become one of the best guard/forward combinations in the league. Even though both will probably get shafted in the ASG this season just know that they will be making the guys who are there very uncomfortable inside the Rose Garden for the rest of the year. Steve Blake is still somehow playing well enough to keep his starting gig. Greg Oden is crushing that Sam Bowie bullshit that went on earlier this season and Rudy Fernendez would be a front runner in the ROY race during most seasons besides this ridiculously star studded one. Their bench's talent is only equalled by it's depth. Sergio Rodriguez, Ghostface, Outlaw, Bayless, and Martell Webster make up what is probably the most talented team in the league 1 thru 15. Nate McMillan is very aware of this and is making sure that he gets the most out of his squad with no excuses made for their inexperience. I see the Blazers at 31-19 at the break and ending the season at 47-35 sitting in the sixth seed in the West. If these guys match up with the Spurs in the playoffs, it could be one of the best first round series in the playoffs.

I No Punk Bitch, You Punk Bitch!

Say what you will about his personality and personal life off the court, but when it comes to what goes down on the hardwood no one is harder than Kobe. No one. When dude told Steven A. that he wouldn't be ready to pass the torch until he retires, some people laughed it off. It was viewed as just another egoistical delusion by a guy who has problems admitting his shortcomings. In a lot of people's minds, it wasn't up to Kobe to pass it because LBJ had already snatched that title, and with the way LeBron has played so far this season, who could blame them. But the problem was, Kobe wasn't kidding. No matter how lighthearted of a chuckle Mamba gave in the interview, you better believe he was dead serious. You watched the game, right?

I'm not going to do a full game recap because I'm assuming the real basketball fans that read this blog saw the game, barring a family emergency. So in case you had a death or birth in the fam, just know that although LeBron outscored Kobe by three points the tweleve assists Kobe had and the ridiculously clutch shots that he hit while LeBron was playing his vastly improved defense on him where pretty much the turning points in the game. The game started out with the usual dap given between the two superstars and LeBron was all smiles and jokes during the first few minutes but after Kobe getting to check LeBron for more than half the game like he requested, getting jumper after jumper knocked down in his face, and a couple of hard fouls by the Lakers on King James, dude was much less chatty during the fourth quarter. They held the camera on the two superstars for about thirty straight seconds before an inbound play in the fourth and there was no jokes, no words, no smiles. China seemed like ages ago.


The part of the game that really showed the difference between the two stars of the night actually wasn't a part of the game at all. After the final buzzer the two embraced at half court as is custom for most guys to show respect to their opponents after a hard fought battle when it looked like LeBron asked "What were those fouls about?" probably referring to the hard foul that was given by Bynum in the third quarter. Kobe looked him in the eyes, patted him on the chest and walked away. Cold blooded. Basicly, not only did Kobe outplay the supposedly already newly crowned MVP of 2009(CP3 is the frontrunner right now, IMO), but the Lakers showed the bitch in him on arguably the biggest non-playoff stage LeBron will play on all season.

Make no mistake about it, Kobe and the Lakers were making a statement. The Lakers as a franchise are tired of wearing that "soft" label that they've had hanging over their head since the Finals last year and beating a great defensive team like the Cavs at their own game was just another step for them on their way to redemption. Kobe's message was even more evident. King James can have the title for being the most likeable, marketable, and for having the most rappers in his top five, but Kobe ain't giving up the big chair yet. Not without a fight. So unless LeBron can lead his team to a ring this year, or until Kobe retires, the King will still be without a crown.

Report Card Time!

The Thunder should definitely beat their parents home to the mail box.


So since every website, blog, and miscreant with an opinion will be giving a mid-season report during all-star break I figured I'd beat them to the punch. Could teams change their respective path between now and when Nate Robinson jumps over someone's head for the 400th time? Sure. That's why over the next few days I'll review each division and give an guestimation on their record by that time and where I see each team after the first 82 are over. Let's get it crackin' with the Southwest.

Memphis (not so) Bleak

The Grizz are setting at a less than impressive 11-27 as we speak. So why am I so excited about this squad? PO-TEN-IAL. These Young Bucks aren't as stacked 1 thru 15 as the Blazers are, but what they lack in depth they make up for in a ridiculously talented core of OJ, Rudy Gay, and Marc Gasol. OJ is turning a ROY race that looked like it would be over by Christmas into a photo finish with balanced offensive play and a smooth veteran-like jumper. Rudy Gay is already fulfilling that "upside" that everyone has been associating with his name since he was a freshman at UConn and Marc "The Tank" is making the Grizzlies front office look like they may not have made one of the worst trades in sports history by providing a solid low post scoring threat. Hakim Warrick has also been a nice surprise this season by improving his ball handling and jumpshot to go with an athleticism that Royal Ivey still has bad dreams about. Their biggest question mark is (still) at the point. Conley has been decent, but hasn't really wowed anyone yet or blossomed into the first round pick that the Grizz expected when they drafted him. Kyle Lowry has shown flashes of at least being able to possibly fill the spark off the bench role and they've recently added Steve Francis in a weird draft day diss dejavu twist of fate, but I seriously doubt he was brought here for more than cap fodder. Darius Miles has shown some signs of life recently, Darko has gone hulkimania and not much else, and Darrel Arthur has played very rookyish. I'd put these guys at 17-35 by All-Star break and finishing the season at 36-46 for the year. They'll be well out of the Western Conference playoff picture but they will continue to get better through out the season and will probably be a spoiler threat to teams trying to sneak into that 8th spot over the last two weeks. Overall Marc Ivanaroni has done a solid job. If the Grizz can stabilize the the point guard situation and add some depth to their bench, this team could supplant a rapidly decaying franchise like the Suns, Mavs, and eventually yes, even the Spurs, as playoff regulars for years to come.

Playing Mavericky

"I can't believe Mark traded Devin for your old ass."-Avery Johnson might have said.

Like my man Farmer Jones said one time, I'm the first to admit when I'm right. For those of you who need a quick history lesson, in the SLAMonline Mavs Preview done by yours truly, I predicted this...and I was crucified for it. I said Kidd would still make passes but hardly be able to guard half the starting points in the West. I said Jerry Stackhouse was finished. I said J-Ho had a 50/50 shot of still being a Mav by the break(But to Toronto?). I said Dirk would still put up numbers but he would still be damaged goods and the Mavs would struggle to make the playoffs. So lets see...check, check, check, and double check so far. Jet has still brought it every night just like he did in Atlanta and Brandon Bass has continued to show promise. Gerald Green has shown flashes of the ability he was drafted for during his inconsistent burn. But for a team whose owner has championship expectations Rick Carlise and the Mavs are coming up shorter than J. J. Barea. Ok, Jose has had some great games this year and been a well needed pleasant surprise for a franchise that needed one but if you think that he's the long term answer at the point then you probably have the same basketball I.Q. as Cubes. This squad will be 28-24 at the break and will end the season 43-39 and in the 8th seed in the West, waiting to get swept by the Lakers. The real question is will this be the offseason that Mark Cuban finally swallows his pride and makes the serious roster changes necessary to keep this team from free falling to lottery land for years to come.

Ron Ron bumps Nas, Yao bumps Wu-Tang, neither are big T-Pain fans

"If you don't let us trade you, I'm throwing this bottle at Ron and pointing at you."

Houston hasn't had in house drama like this since Pau Wall and Chamillonaire broke up the Color Changing Click. Like T.I. would say, " What yall know about that?". But on some real sh!t, Houston has a problem. Tracy McInjury has officially dethroned Vince as the biggest man-gina in the family with his "Maybe I'm hurt, maybe I'm not, but I'm not playing defense anyways."bullshit. The only people getting the last laugh in this situation are the other contenders in the league who no longer have to consider the Rockets a legitimate threat. Damn shame too. Ron Artest has been putting up solid numbers, being a great teammate, and basically doing everything that the Rockets could've ever dreamed of when they traded for him. Yao has beasted and stayed healthy for the majority of the season so far. Skip has flourished under Adelman's system. Aaron Brooks is blossoming into a future star. Scola, Landry, and even Von Wafer are all having productive years and they just got Mount Mutombo back. Unfortunately until this T-Pain situation is taken care of, the Rockets will continue to struggle against the top teams in the West and, you heard it here first, they'll be left out of the playoffs. They'll be at 30-22 at the break but unless they somehow ship Tracy out, they'll fade during a tougher second part of the season and finish the season at 41-41 on the outside looking in.

Louisianimal

Chris Paul is already one of the top 5 point guards of all time. Read that again. Let it marinate. First of all, let me say that when it comes down to the CP3 vs. D-Will I've always found myself on the Ryne Nelson side of the group. That being said, due to injury and an unfuckingbelieveable season by Chris the debate has to be shelved (for now). Chris is like a Isiah Thomas/Tiny Archibald hybrid with the athleticism of a pre-knee injury Baron Davis. I could go on all day about this man but lets just say that if Chris doesn't take home the MVP this season then Kobe and the Lakers better end up going 72-10 or LeBron and the Cavs better go undefeated at home. Basically, give the man the trophy. David West has continued to be underrated and hated on and has continued to give cats the business on a nightly basis. James Posey has provided a that veteran champion leadership and confidence that they brought him in for. Their biggest problem this season was one of their biggest strengths last year. Tyson Chandler has regressed. He has gone from avgs. of 12 and 12 to 9 and 8. That is a Star Jones before the lypo like drop off. Especially on a team like Nawlins with a paper thin bench. The Hornets will continue to need otherwordly performances from Paul, Peja to go into SacTown killa mode, and David West to punk dudes like their Dirk in order for them to make a run in the playoffs. They'll be 31-19 at the break and if Tyson can regain some semblance of the player he was last year in the second half of the season they'll surge and end up 54-28 in the second seed in the West.

It's Still an Odd Year, Right?


If Tim Duncan is really not a robot sent from the future to bring havoc on the NBA for decades then he's doing a horrible job convincing me. Timbot is still just as good as the dude was 3 years ago and that is scary as hell. He singlehandedly carried the Spurs on his back while Manu and Tony got healthy and had it not been for his stellar play and unrattled leadership this team would be paying attention to alot more Oklahoma Sooner games. Timmy is still Ice Cold. Manu is starting to get his Argentian swagger back and Tony Parker is playing like he didn't just come back from a nasty ankle injury. I guess going home to Eva every night helps the healing process.
George Hill is starting to show people why the Spurs drafted him so high out of I.U.P.I.Q.W.@.K. or wherever the hell he's from and Roger Mason is a stone cold clutch shot driller right now. If he can continue to contribute offensively and Matt Bonner can continue to do all the little things this team is gonna be hard to out come playoffs. They'll be at 33-19 at the break and they'll finish the season at 52-30 in the 3rd seed in the West. Just because these old fellas need an occasional nap, don't sleep on them come playoff time.

Let's Get it Started

Top ten things I want to see in 2009...



Sorry for the disappearing act on here guys. The last couple of week I've had to do some actual work and raise my kid and some other boring, unbasketball related stuff. Anyways, I got a couple of ideas, hopes, and dreams that I'd like to share that will hopefully make 09 shine.


10. Charles Barkley escapes from rehab, shows up unannounced in white jumpsuit at Inside the NBA set.


9. David Stern takes the All-Star vote away from Chi...uh...the fans.


8. Donnie Walsh and Stephon Marbury settle on a buyout...by having a WWE-style cage match!


7. Danny Ainge gets caught up in life.


6. Darius Miles gets his groove back with the Grizz, drops 20 on the Blazers, flips off Paul Allen.


5. Mark Cuban admits he was wrong, not just about Avery, Dirk, and Devin, but about anything in general.


4. Kenyon Martin keeps randomly shooting threes and dunking on people like it's 2001.

Now this guy can't feel his face!

3. Tim Thomas hits three, starts to do his "can't feel my face" thing with his hand, trips and pokes his eye out.


2. In the middle of Wizards practice, Caron Butler sees Gil typing on his ibook on the bench, proceeds to take ibook from Gil and smash over and over on the scorers' table. Caron returns to practice, no words are said.


1. Mamba gets his pinkie ring.

Too Hot for TNT:Real Text Messages between Dwyane & Chuck

Chuck: Guess who? HAHAHA. Hey, when are we supposed to get that check for the last T-Mobile commercial? It hasn't cleared my bank yet and Vinnie from the Bellagio is sweating me.

Dwyane: Not sure, my agent handles that. My ex is taking half of it anyways.

Chuck:You could always come out to Vegas with me and make it back. All you need is one hot hand in a dice game, baby, and you can turn it all around.

Dwyane: I'll pass. You need help.

Chuck:Your right. I need help with all this fine ass trim in this bar! I've never gotten so many free drinks! Why don't you fly out tonight, yall ain't playing tommorrow anyways. I got some cougars over here.

Dwyane:Can't. Hanging out with Gabby tonite...well, what do they look like?

Chuck: Well, they're no Star Jones, LMFAO, but one of them can suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

Dwyane: ......

Chuck:Man, you need to learn how to take a joke. You were more fun when you were married. Anyway, I'm about to go round the block and let this girl try and get in my Fav Five.

Dwyane: You got a driver?

Chuck: Man, I don't need no Gawd Damn driver! I'm Charles motherfucking Barkley! They love me in Scottsdale! Besides, I drive better while in the pursuit of some downtown lovin' for the little Chuckster. LOL.

Dwyane: Turrible.